The Tire Debacle

So last Friday night I headed out at about 9:25 to go to the Lead Pipe Logic show in Venice. I got as far as Yosemite on the 118 freeway, which is about 7 miles from my house. Shortly before that exit, I felt my car shuddering. I quickly decelerated and headed towards the exit lane. I knew there was a well-lit Shell station right off that exit as I used to live on that street. So I pull in, get out and check the tires. Passenger side rear looked visibly low. I have low profile tires on my car, so they have to be really low to appear low. I then pulled out my compressor and tried filling them. It pumped for about 10 minutes and still registered zero. So, I pulled out the jack and took the tire off. There were several shredded cracked areas on the rear sidewall of the tire. Time to pull out the spare. Mind you, I have a large heavy speaker box and a bag of discs and other random crap that has to be removed first before I can get to the spare. So, I finally get the spare out and attempt to install it. The lug bolts were too short. On a side note, VW’s have lug bolts that you install into the hub. Most other cars have threaded shafts sticking out and you install a lug nut on them to secure the wheel. So, I thought the aftermarket lug bolts must be too short. I called my friend Rich, as I have my factory wheels stored in a shed at his house. He was in bed already. He had to throw on some clothes and grab a flashlight to go look for the factory lug bolts that I suspected were out with the wheels. In the meantime I called Kat and told her what was going on. She graciously offered to come get me and drive me to Rich’s house if he found them. So, she’s on her way and Rich calls back. NO DICE! Shit, where the fuck are they? HMMM, must be in my carport storage then. As I waited for Kat, I put all the shit back in my car. I then decided to go in and buy a six-pack of beer and tell the lady at the gas station not to tow my car and I will be back in less than an hour. I sat there “to da curb” drinking my beer out of a paper bag. I felt like such a wino. So Kat arrives and we head to my place. I dug around in my carport storage cabinet and found them pretty easily. Back to the car we go. These ones don’t fit either. FUCK!!! Ok, well let me try putting the spare on backwards and see if it fits that way. I was able to get them on!! YAY!!! Ok, it looks retarded and probably isn’t very safe, but I will just have to drive really slow and take city streets instead of the freeway. At least I can get home now. So I throw everything back in my car again. I start her up and put it in reverse and start backing out. Now I hear a grinding noise. GRRR, WTF NOW? I get out and look. Duh, the wheel is rubbing on the brake rotor. I’ll call AAA Kat says. Alright. Defeated, I put the factory wheel back on my car and wait for the tow truck driver to arrive. He gets there pretty quickly, in like 30 minutes or so. As he pulls up and gets out, a blond girl walks over to him and starts talking to him. I’m thinking, “Hey this is my tow truck step off bimbo.” He walks over and asks me if I mind if he gives her a jump-start before he loads my car onto the flatbed. Ok, sure. It should only take a minute. It did and then he loaded me up. I jumped in the cab with him to give him directions. Kat followed. We got back to my house and unloaded my car. At this point I noticed the truck number was 13 and it was Friday the 13th. I pointed this out and the driver pulled back his coat to expose his name tag. He said, “And my name is Jason too.” Oh, the irony!

To be continued…

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